What Not to Tell The Police Officer

[pdub]

I'm nearly a virgin, I have to say......I've got one speeding ticket in Red.

Boy, did I get busted, no question about it. The lady police officer, I said, "Howdy M'am!" That may have actually helped. On the ticket, she reduced the speed by 5 mph to keep it from being reckless driving. I really think she gave me an even bigger break than that. She even asked me, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Well, what's the correct answer to that? If you just say "No," I think you're going to the gated community. So I said, 60?" She nodded. Well, it was a 40 mph speed zone.

I''m okay with that. Guilty. I did it.

But what do you not say to a police officer? I'll suggest one to start with-

"Scuse me Ossifer while I pee.".

[BangShift McT]

My worst ticket ever: 85 in a 45 (construction AND school zone) in 2000. The cop had to chase me 3/4 of a mile to where I was living, pulled me over in front of my house, and chased me up to the front porch on foot. His tune whipped a very quick 180° turn when he saw my grandfather on the floor having a heart attack. That ticket got reduced to five over, a $40 fine. We won't talk about the one time I saved a buddy from a ticket by ripping past his traffic stop somewhere in 4th gear and 4,000 RPM.

As far as a quote? "Pulling me over just because you lost the race is poor F'ing sportsmanship. And those lights on your roof are infantile."

[Matt Cramer]

One of my uncles in his younger days once answered "Why were you going 45 mph in a 25 mph zone?" with "Because I was slowing down for the railroad tracks."

Another of my favorites was a story about a guy who was out late at night on an empty road in a V8 swapped '80s era S10. He got pulled over and the conversation went something like this:

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Speeder: Because I was really hauling ass.

Cop: Uh, right. Do you know how fast you were going?

Speeder: I don't know. My speedometer only goes up to 85.

The cop ended up letting him off fairly lightly - apparently glad to run into somebody that admitted he was caught fair and square.

[DanStokes]

"No officer, I never drink. Pot is my thing." (Not me but I guy I used to know).

Dan

[SuperBuickGuy]

the cop near Fort Lewis that was waving people over to ticket them (airplane), so I waved back. Cop said "did you see me wave at you?" I said "clearly I did, I waved back" "why didn't you pull over?" I said "well, for two reasons, first I thought you were being friendly and second, how many of those beside the road did you ticket?"

Cops face went red, then stomped back to his car. He wrote the ticket, I thanked him. Looked at the ticket, and the milepost he claimed I was speeding at was yet to come. I beat the ticket when I pointed that out in court.

[pdub]

Cops face went red, then stomped back to his car. He wrote the ticket, I thanked him. Looked at the ticket, and the milepost he claimed I was speeding at was yet to come. I beat the ticket when I pointed that out in court.

On my ticket, well....rewind. We sat there in the car for a real long time. I told Unit, this is taking a long time. She may be calling for a wrecker to impound the car. She may be writing me up for reckless. I'll go to jail, I don't know how you're going to get back home. (We were at the base of Tail of the Dragon) Unit's facial expression....

But to a point similar to yours, the date of the court hearing on the ticket, it said I had to appear on January something of last year. A clerical error. WTH I got a cashiers check and mailed it in.

[pdub]

I know a guy, I'm not gonna say who, he got clocked going 130 MPH on the Cherohala Skyway on a motorcycle. Cop got him over and said please slow down, you're scaring the old farts, the Leaf Peepers. And the cop said hey, I've got a bike just like that one. Gyah. Great conversation and just ride away.

[SuperBuickGuy]

when I was very young.... 18ish... my family went waterskiing at Prineville reservoir. The back side of the reservoir is unimproved road (think mildly-improved cowpath). I had a 78 4 door malibu with a 307. It was 'fast' ... no, it wasn't at all, but it was fun to drive and it looked just like a police detective car. I'm doing spirited driving on that cowpath and am completely in the oncoming lane going around a corner in a spirited manner. A cop coming the other way had to go onto the shoulder to avoid me hitting him head on.

It was a windy road, but I pulled off immediately around the next corner then got out and sat on my hood. Cop comes up a minute or two later - asks me "what's up" I said "I figured you probably wanted to talk to me about being in my lane." He said "yep, stay in your lane. Have a nice day." off he went. whew.

[oletrux4evr]

"My ex-wife ran off with a cop and I thought you were bringing her back.........."

[Deaf Bob]

My last ticket was speeding and attempt to elude..
Speeding? Told judge, "Was late, so likely I was.."
Attempt to elude?
"Didn't even see him, too busy driving"
When did you see the officer?
"When he pulled up behind me at the light, If I was attempting to elude, wouldn't I go thru a red light seeing how nothing was coming?"
$25 for speeding.

[pdub]

$25 for speeding.

Well, didn't you come out of that one like a rose?

Try $257.50 on for style. I wonder where they came up with the 50 cents.

[pdub]

I'm sittin here thinking about this since we're talking about it.

TDOT is filthy rich, due to the tax structure. And you can see it. They re-pave roads that don't even need paving. Tennessee has the best rest areas on the entire interstate system, from what I've seen. They are ornate, they are clean, staffed, kept up around the clock. It's all about cash flow. One time years ago, they got into a budget quarrel, a political thing, and the first thing they did was to close the rest areas beside the interstate. Roped them off for a few days until they got whatever petty argument settled. The folks passing through traveling from state to state, they didn't know what they were missing. They had to find a gas station or a burger joint instead.

It was a county deputy who gave me that traffic ticket. I even told her, "Thank you" when we were done. It could have been a whole lot worse, at her discretion. And that fine, that speeding ticket, that way more than paid her salary for the whole day, maybe even for that whole week. Cops don't get paid enough. They don't. You couldn't pay me enough to be one.

[SuperBuickGuy]

I think you need to invest in a better radar detector rather then ornate rest areas.

[Deaf Bob]

Pdub, as you know SIL is a city officer, pulled over a young lady (lady is generous) she was opening her blouse, exposing her charms.. He wrote her a ticket anyway, she yelled "I showed you my boobs and you still wrote me a ticket!" I asked him, "Why didn't you ask her if she wanted 'bribing a public official' to the ticket". He just laughed and said she might beat him up..

[pdub]

I think you need to invest in a better radar detector rather then ornate rest areas.

That's what Superman said, too. In that case I was "had." The only straightaway for miles of curvy roads, I was hung out in the left lane passing two cars when I saw the front of the police car sitting there in a hidey-hole. Busted. And they changed the speed limit right there from 50 to 40, I was too enthralled with making the pass to even notice the sign. I'll bet that one spot is a cash cow.