old at 48

[SuperBuickGuy]

Dallas Morning News
Community Opinions page 10B

(David McClure of McKinney teaches science and coaches at Faubion Middle School in McKinney. He is also a "Teacher Voices" volunteer columnist.)

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet... a mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach. Hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits!

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words, "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time.."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

[Orange95Z]

That particular scenario hasn't happened to me, yet, but I've had some "senior" moments myself since turning 48 ;). Great read Aaron.

[JR-Funny-Car]

Sounds like stuff my dad does

It will be O.K.

[squirrel]

Surprised I haven't done that yet. I'm 48.

[rack4u]

Celeste,

You are grounded !

[Orange95Z]

Celeste,

You are grounded !

LOL David.

Is it just me or did Googles search bar and drop down get larger script since I was on it this morning? 48ism not, I'm hoping.

[squirrel]

I noticed that too....I guess it only happens to 48 yr olds though.

[DanStokes]

Yer all a bunch of punk kids. Hell, when I was yer age.........

Dan

[boxer3main]

Sounds like stuff my dad does

It will be O.K.

my dad is going on 59. We have never ever in more than a few seconds gotten along. Recently helping with some building chores, something occured to me. Attempting to control a situation, while not even knowing who I am except.."son". He attempted to guide me through a chore, as if I were half my age and just swinging my 20 year old hammer. Before this strange occurence, he had a comment about my banged up estwing..I said "never buy a new hammer, take it to the grinder."

The bridge that was never built is a wider river than it has always been. For me to mention 15 years ago, nearly enslaved as a house builder...not even getting to him. I hope there is no abyss for anyone getting older, it does bring a psychosis to avoid. This one event has added to the inspiration to leave the locale I am in, staying for family was one of them. Old at 48, may need a bigger realization than forgetting simple things. may it never be hate.

[SuperBuickGuy]

Just to be clear.... I have this to look forward too - I'm not 48 and not suffering CRS (yet).....