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  • A wife says to her husband...

    “I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear”, to which the husband replies: “kitchen, bathroom, livingroom”.
    Last edited by Thumpin455; June 1st, 2011, 03:07 PM.

  • #2

    Re: A wife says to her husband...

    “I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear”, to which the husband replies: “kitchen, bathroom, livingroom”.
    oh yeah, that's gonna leave a mark
    Doing it all wrong since 1966

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    • #3

      Re: A wife says to her husband...

      Ah, what'cha worried about...that's why you bought that really comfy couch...
      Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake.

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      • #4

        Re: A wife says to her husband...

        married men always spring for the fold out bed /couch..
        ot at least a futon,, got that bryan, put that on your list of stuff to buy

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        • #5

          Re: A wife says to her husband...

          Already got the comfy couch. I'm set.
          Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake.

          Comment


          • #6

            Re: A wife says to her husband...

            A first grade teacher repeatedly has trouble with one of her students. Everyday, this little boy sits in the back of the class and makes trouble and distracts the other students. She is determined to teach him and decides that the best way to keep him focused is to appeal to his interests.

            One day, the teacher is giving a lesson on basic arithmetic and the little boy is goofing off in the back of the class again. She asks him to settle down and says, "I have a problem I think you might like. There are 5 birds sitting on a telephone wire. You take your BB gun and shoot one. How many birds are left?"

            The boy answers, "None. Once I fire the gun, they all fly away."

            The teacher replies, "That's not the correct answer, but it's very clever. I like the way you think."

            The boy then says, "Oh well then I have a question for you. Three women are eating popsicles. One is sucking on hers, one is licking hers, and one is biting hers. Which one is married?"

            The teacher thinks for a minute and answers, "Well I would think it'd either be the one sucking on her popsicle or the one licking her popsicle."

            The boy replies, "No, it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like how YOU think."

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            • #7

              Re: A wife says to her husband...

              ^^ win!
              Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake.

              Comment


              • #8

                Re: A wife says to her husband...

                An exhausted mother crawls into bed where her long time husband rolls over and looks at her and says disgustedly "Good night mother of six."

                She smiles sweetly and replies in her nicest voice "Goodnight father of one"
                .

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                • #9

                  Re: A wife says to her husband...

                  Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: "Prepare yourself for widowhood ... Your husband is about to die a violent death."

                  Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies: "Will I be acquitted?"
                  As I have grown older, I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

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                  • #10

                    Re: A wife says to her husband...

                    Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase:

                    "You Gotta Be Shittin Me?"

                    Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our
                    country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware river with his troops.

                    There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington 's boat. It was
                    extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them
                    about.

                    Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and
                    stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
                    to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.

                    Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the
                    lantern back and forth, back and forth.

                    Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his
                    lantern into the Delaware . Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them
                    felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.

                    Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.

                    Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.'
                    They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.

                    What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in
                    the forest to serve all who came.

                    General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.

                    The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.

                    A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.

                    Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
                    desperately need warmth and comfort.'

                    Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad
                    smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right
                    place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'

                    Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters .'

                    And the Madam said, 'You gotta be shittin me.'
                    sigpic

                    Just an Old Drag Racer that still has dreams of going fast!

                    Comment


                    • #11

                      Re: A wife says to her husband...


                      The Black Bra (as told by a woman)




                      I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
                      One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+
                      years.

                      We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men
                      by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a
                      mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..

                      Here's how it all went.

                      My engaged friend:
                      The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
                      leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
                      He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
                      I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

                      The mistress:
                      Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing
                      a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.
                      When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to
                      tremble and we had wild sex all night.

                      Then I had to share my story:
                      When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
                      Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
                      When he came in the door and saw me he said,


                      (You'll love this)








                      "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

                      Nobody is ever worthless.
                      They can always be used as a bad example. (Studemax)


                      http://www.weeville.com

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