A New Assignment

[pdub]

Big Boss came to sit with me today. Said what would you think about you doing the newsletter?

I said heck yes. It's meant to be a safety newsletter, and it is. But it's got more pages than that. Births, graduations, you name it.

Big Boss said, "I think you could add a new twist to it."

Yeah, like the Ohio Mile, and running Pa Kettle off of the road (that was a safety issue).

Hey y'all, watch this. Starting next month, this is gonna be fun.

[SuperBuickGuy]

But do you think you can get enough content? (snickering)

[studemax]

Is your newsletter copyrightable?
Will you scan it and post it here?

If you need a proof-reader I'm available.
(I'm the newsletter editor for my car club)

[DanStokes]

I can add meaningless and enigmatic comments in inappropriate places. Oh, and crappy typing. Think about it...

Dan

[JOES66FURY]

I can add meaningless and enigmatic comments in inappropriate places. Oh, and crappy typing. Think about it...

Dan

Hell yeah, I can too!...and all too often! I get my butt chewed because of emails I send that to mee seem fine, but apparently to the reader are not so "PC"

I am sure Peewee's newletter will be an entertaining read!

[Deaf Bob]

Have to remember, my sense of humor is not considered "normal" to mainstream people..
How do I know when I step over the line? Aghast looks ...

[pdub]

Is your newsletter copyrightable?
Will you scan it and post it here?

If you need a proof-reader I'm available.
(I'm the newsletter editor for my car club)

No, it's not a copyrighted thing at all. Just printed out on about 50 copies to be rolled out at the big monthly safety meeting, then emailed to everybody at the site - maybe...well, I don't know. Everybody used to have email, about 700 people but the folks with the checkbook took all of the hourly folks' email away. So I don't know the number. But in any case, a small time deal.

And every bit but all of it is sent by department contributors, published as-is. Bar charts, numbers, boring stuff. Facts, but not very entertaining.

Big Boss' statement, "I think you could add a new twist to it," ....that's the part I'm digesting. I know Big Boss likes me, has visited my site, all those things. So I have to interpret what I think he meant when he said that as part of the pitch as to why I'm a good candidate to do the newsletter.

I don't know quite what I'll do with it at this point for sure. If Boss wants a twist, I can sure provide one. Let's say the poorly-typed incident report indicates, "Employee was grinding with improper tool, no PPE, object embedded in left eye." That's sort of how they come. That's what goes into the newsletter, reports and stuff as they were originally sent out.

Boss wants a twist? As long as the filed report is not a .pdf, I can make a space and insert, big font, red typeset" ^^^What a dumbass! Sumbitch musta never wanted to see his two young daughters out of that one eyeball ever again!

[pdub]

Guys, the more I think about the safety newsletter thing, the more I'm jacked up to do it. And Sue Unit is adding more suggestions to amp up the flow.

My comment to her was, "How safe can it be to go 140 miles per hour?"

And she said, get this,..."You had go through safety inspection, you had to wear all cotton, you had to have good tires, you had to have an approved helmet...."

Yep, it all happened. Especially the helmet. Another safety point - NEVER wear a full coverage racing helmet when you're shooting pool. It'll make your neck hurt something awful. For a few weeks, at least.

[mlcraven]

Them what writes the newsletter gets to reshape history...or something like that.

So it's your big chance to bend the world to weeville!

[pdub]

Them what writes the newsletter gets to reshape history...or something like that.

So it's your big chance to bend the world to weeville!

Believe me, that'll be the SECOND thing I do!

[pdub]

I won't have a lot of chances amongst the safety statistic to have as much fun as I have writing here, but I've got a thing typed up, this is a month and a half in advance of the newsletter. Unit said, Why are you writing the newsletter at home????"

Because the phone always rings at work and there's no beer at work. No creative flow. So this evening I'm "working" at home.

I'm thinking this text along with Mike's photos of Red, I mean this is gonna be a peewee "fun" commercial. If they let me do the newsletter, I'll do it at least once before I get fired. And this doesn't even inclue the brash plug I'll put in for my website.

But really, read this and know that it's for maybe 700 people in the audience at the outside , maybe 2 who actually know about the existence of LSR. Is this a decent introduction? I could write 9 pages, all I would like to say, but heck it's a safety newsletter for a factory, trying to break the monotony of all the safety statistics.

I trust your judgements and honor your opinions, entirely. Before I ever start with it and thanks ahead of time for the feedback. And believe me, I'm not at all proud.

Text (to include Ohio photos):

Since it's my turn to build the newsletter - first, thanks so much to Kela and to Amy for doing it before right now. And for doing such a great job of it. Both of those fine ladies can tell you it's not a small task. A large enough task that it SHOULD be passed around.

And now that it's my turn, you can only believe that I'll use this opportunity to take up some page space and type what I want to. Well, poetic license prevails.

Some of you have noticed my red Mustang in the parking lot when I drive it to work and a few of you have asked about the lettering on the back windows.

Yes, I raced it. I raced it at the end of April, and the sanctioning body required those specific letters and numbers on it before I was allowed to run it. That would be the end of the story if I didn't like to type up such long stories about myself and all of my great accomplishments. My great accomplishment is actually to have so much fun that I'd be remiss in my life if I didn't describe it.

The Ohio Mile. A measured mile from a standing start with a 133-foot timing trap at the end and room enough to slow down. Break the first light, timer starts, break the second light, the timer stops. So many seconds inside the trap, BANG, average speed inside the trap.

Land speed racing. The East Coast Timing Association (ECTA) is sort of a sister group to the folks who run the land speed events on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. That group is the Southern California Timing Association (SCTA). They share the same sort of rules as to how your car has to be prepared before you can run for a record, all for safety reasons. Out there they have a 5-mile stretch of nothing where cars have gone....well, one broke the sound barrier on wheels if all that you see on the internet is true.

The ECTA uses an abandoned airport runway in Wilmington, Ohio where the parcel company DHL closed down a huge facility with a 9000-foot runway and put 6000 people out of a job, so the city of Wilmington OH was mighty glad to see the event come to town and fill up the motels and restaurants.

The history of the sport and the legacy of ETCA goes beyond the space I have to type here. Google it and do some research. It's epic, 2012 is the first year they've done that in Wilmington, Ohio.

My Mustang named Red ran 139.447 MPH in the D/FSS class. "D" is the engine displacement (a very small V8), and "F" means I ran the fuel I brought (not the 100+ octane racing gas they sell at track) and "SS" means Super Street. In Super Street you have to have the car licensed and insured to drive on the road. I drove it there and back, not a built-up race car.

But because it was in such an obscure class, the record still stands at this writing. A land speed record at Ohio IN THAT ONE CLASS. It all goes to show, some years, sometimes, all you have to do is go out there and do it.

And I bought Red, completely stock, out from under a tree at the end of our neighborhood, and....well, that's the story that's too long to type here.

[studemax]

OK, P - time to edit your story.

The car that broke the sound barrier (Thrust SSC) did it at Black Rock, Nevada near Gerlach..... not on the salt of Bonneville.
And DON'T mention the Budweiser rocket at El Mirage - it was never officially timed by any sanctioning body.
The speed was estimated by radar (and that's very poor way to estimate speed).

[pdub]

OK, P - time to edit your story.

The car that broke the sound barrier (Thrust SSC) did it at Black Rock, Nevada near Gerlach..... not on the salt of Bonneville.
And DON'T mention the Budweiser rocket at El Mirage - it was never officially timed by any sanctioning body.
The speed was estimated by radar (and that's very poor way to estimate speed).

I saw Thrust SSC 2 .....from memory....Andy - somebody? A British pilot? Never mind all that, and I'll fix it. Gosh, if that's all I did wrong...and THANKS Stude! If that's all that's wrong with that story ....hmmmm maybe I should stay home all the time and write while drinking beer. But .....it would sure not pay the same.

But really, that's ALL that's wrong with it? In a month and a half, I'll be handing out copies of that newsletter in the BIG Room and then the meeting will convene and then they'll all be scanning over that stuff and either smiling across at the room at me or looking at me and going, "WHAT?!?!?!"

Hmmmmm....I dunno peewee...I dunno....

[mlcraven]

peewee: Andy Green, Royal Air Force fighter jock, drove the SSC

[pdub]

peewee: Andy Green, Royal Air Force fighter jock, drove the SSC

Thanks, ml I do want to get the facts right when it's for publication, as small of a public publication as it is (much, MUCH smaller by numbers than these posts on BangShift). And I will (get the facts right).

But the feel of it? It's for people who....every word of that is new to them, all of it. And for the local safety newsletter it's way away from target. But I'm bound to do it, if I can get it in tune. I mean I'm bent on doing it. I think I may still have to tie in a safety theme, it's safe because the cars are all inspected, etc.......and I wore a helmet while shooting pool to get ready for it...okay now I'm losing it. Time for bed.