Office Buzz Terms

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  • pdub
    Colonel Turd Nugget
    • Oct 2009
    • 24542

    #1

    Office Buzz Terms

    I thought maybe I'd already posted this one here already, and I did a search and can't see that I did. IF I did, I apologize for the re-post. I like this one:

    The Latest Office Buzz Terms:

    1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
    deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
    on everything, and then leaves.

    3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
    and,advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard

    4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
    upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

    5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

    6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
    cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
    on.

    7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
    potato.

    8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
    Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to
    stay home with the kids.

    9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
    and whiny.

    10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
    because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

    11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
    workplace.

    12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying
    but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

    13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
    an electronic device to get it to work again.

    14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
    above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
    often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
    designed to solve.

    15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message
    "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

    16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
    same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and
    subdivisions.

    17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
    that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email
    by mistake).

    18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

    19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a
    Cube Farm.

    20. PICNIC: Problem in chair not in computer.

    21. ANAL GLAUCOMA: I don't see my ass doing that.
    Charter member of the Turd Nuggets
  • ksj1
    Superhero BangShifter
    • Oct 2007
    • 2349

    #2
    Re: Office Buzz Terms

    Just forwarded this to my boss.THANKS!!!!! ;D

    Comment

    • Nik2
      Hero BangShifter
      • Dec 2009
      • 378

      #3
      Re: Office Buzz Terms

      Crop Dusting..............now I know what I'm doing when I walk thru the office area. LOL

      Comment

      • BluLightning
        Blue Cooler Operator
        • Nov 2007
        • 9389

        #4
        Re: Office Buzz Terms

        I'll tell you what, if I hear my boss or one of our managers say "level setting" on more time, somebody's getting a piece of barstock in the throat. :o
        I R Bob
        You can't drink all day unless you start in the morning!
        2007 LH, 2008 LH, 2009 LH, 2010 LH, 2011 LH, 2012 DNF/BLOW'D UP, 2013 LH, 2014 LH

        Comment

        • pdub
          Colonel Turd Nugget
          • Oct 2009
          • 24542

          #5
          Re: Office Buzz Terms

          Originally posted by BluLightning
          I'll tell you what, if I hear my boss or one of our managers say "level setting" on more time, somebody's getting a piece of barstock in the throat. :o
          That makes me remember what I DID post here - it was bullshit bingo, where you play the game during meetings marking off buzz terms. Yup, that's what it was. "Level setting" would be a classic one. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!
          Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

          Comment

          • DanStokes
            Ancient LSR Guy
            • Oct 2007
            • 28677

            #6
            Re: Office Buzz Terms

            OK guys. Here's an office event in search of a term.

            The boss goes to a seminar and comes back with an entirely new vocabulary of buzzwords that we are supposed to adopt. I had a boss at EPA who was constantly doing this - a different seminar a couple of times a year. My favorite was when he came back and declared that from now on all of our activities would be based on "powerful results statements" - I guess as opposed to the old "wimpy result statements"? I went into his office and told him he had officially made himself the laughing stock of the place - the term quietly died after that. He liked and trusted me, I think.

            So what's the term for new "seminar buzzwords"?

            Dan

            Dan

            Comment

            • studemax
              [ Expletive Deleted ]
              • Nov 2007
              • 6501

              #7
              Re: Office Buzz Terms

              Lots of acronyms were used at the aircraft plant I worked in years ago when we were subjected to "team sessions",(the boss bitching at us, and then asking us for positive feedback).
              I piped up with a suggestion that we needed to be using more TLA's.
              "What's a TLA?" they wanted to know.
              Three Letter Acronyms.... they were hatin' on me after that.

              I also used to piss 'em off when they would finish a meeting with "Are there any last questions?"
              I would hold up my hand and ask "What is the meaning of life?"
              The boss usually told me to get screwed.
              Act your age, not your shoe size. - Prince

              Comment

              • pdub
                Colonel Turd Nugget
                • Oct 2009
                • 24542

                #8
                Re: Office Buzz Terms

                So what's the term for new "seminar buzzwords"?

                It took a minute but I think I have it - Inseminarzation.
                Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

                Comment

                • DanStokes
                  Ancient LSR Guy
                  • Oct 2007
                  • 28677

                  #9
                  Re: Office Buzz Terms

                  ME says that if he paid for the trip and didn't really go it would be "Artificial Inseminarzation". Whadda ya think?

                  Dan

                  Comment

                  • pdub
                    Colonel Turd Nugget
                    • Oct 2009
                    • 24542

                    #10
                    Re: Office Buzz Terms

                    Yep, that's it. I left out the first word. Definitely it. I'll start using that one. Good job Dan!
                    Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

                    Comment

                    • pdub
                      Colonel Turd Nugget
                      • Oct 2009
                      • 24542

                      #11
                      Re: Office Buzz Terms

                      In fact I think if he DID go on the trip, it's STILL "Artificial Inseminarzation". Because it's all just blather when he comes back spouting acronyms and blue sky meaningless buzz terms.
                      Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

                      Comment

                      • DanStokes
                        Ancient LSR Guy
                        • Oct 2007
                        • 28677

                        #12
                        Re: Office Buzz Terms

                        Great to see such a powerful results statement (it's a statement that results from this thread, no?). Oral diarrhea.

                        Dan

                        Comment

                        • pdub
                          Colonel Turd Nugget
                          • Oct 2009
                          • 24542

                          #13
                          Re: Office Buzz Terms

                          Yep, that new buzz term for the overusage of buzz terms was invented right here - before everyone's very eyes!

                          Let me seeeee......Danwee Consulting LLC........wee Stoke the Fire Training and Motivational Company.....I can see a real future in this, because the real definition of an expert is anybody from out of town with a briefcase.
                          Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

                          Comment

                          • SuperBuickGuy
                            No Life Outside BangShift.com
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 32249

                            #14
                            Re: Office Buzz Terms

                            classic stuff..... the "expert" definition is more true then it should ever be. Fortunately, it's easy to off them with a googlization then it ever was before.
                            Doing it all wrong since 1966

                            Comment

                            • BangShift McT
                              The Reason Brian & Chad Drink ... a Lot !
                              • Dec 2007
                              • 7224

                              #15
                              Re: Office Buzz Terms

                              I love it...all sounds like a case of Cranial Rectii to me. Might wanna go see the doc and get that checked on.

                              Then again, the Army...land of the acroynyms and buzzwords. And we're becoming PC, too! :D
                              Editor-at-Large at...well, here, of course!

                              "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

                              Comment

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